Throughout my life I have had my ups and downs with reading and writing. There have been moments that I have succeed in a piece of writing or finished a reading and understood it well, but school has made both of these subjects a struggle for me. School is supposed to be a place where you learn and grow as a student enhancing your skills while also gaining confidence in your ability as a reader and writer. In my experience school did not meet any of these standards and because of that I still struggle with reading and writing. I often feel frustrated and that it is a chore to read and write because of my learning experience.
When I was young I could remember my mom reading books that’s all she ever did and still does to this day. My older sister new how to read too and her and my mom would read together sometimes. This naturally sparked my interest in reading. I wanted to be just like them so I began to try and read stories with my mom when she was reading them to me. Eventually through practice I was able to read my first book all the way through. I do not remember much about the book besides it was about a giant snowball. What I do remember about it though was how happy I was that I could read all the way through the book and that I read that book to everyone my family, my friends, and even my dog. I liked reading at the time but when reading started to become associated with school work that I feel was when I lost intrest in it and became a chore for me.
In kindergarten they would send my home with sentences to practice writing and reading. My parents would make me sit down and do the homework with before I could go outside and play. There was one afternoon in particular that I remembered when I got home from school and my cousins were outside playing but I had to practice writing my name by filling a whole paper with it. My parents made me sit in my room and do the assignment it was difficult though because I had a window that overlooked the backyard and I could hear my cousins and sister laughing and playing. That moment for me began a dislike for writing and reading.
In the first grade we would split into two reading groups one that was for more advanced readers and one that was for slower readers. In the beginning of the year I was in the group for advanced readers. I was never the strongest reader in the group but I gave it my best. In class one day my teacher said that we were going to change things up for the day and had me and some of the other students switch their reading groups for the day. I did not think much of this change until the next day when everyone went back to their normal reading group I was told to stay where I was. This was a pivotal moment for me although I am sure it was in my best intrest to change groups and that my teacher had her reasons to do this, but being singled out like that in front of the class hurt my confidence in my reading capabilities. After that moment I was reluctant to read as much. I started to become nervous reading in front of people. I felt I was not as strong of a reader that I thought I was. Even though this was a small moment it really had a big effect on how I viewed reading and writing and my abilities with the subjects.
I went through most of my schooling feeling like this. There were a few moments where I sparked a new interest in both subjects like after writing a good paper or getting a piece of writing in class that I enjoyed reading, but they were always short lived. I always went back to that mentality that I was not good at writing or reading so I did what I had to to get by in my classes. Towards the end of high school though I began to read for fun again like I did when I was younger. I found books that I really enjoyed reading and started to read in my spare time. Reading in my free time has really allowed me to enjoy it again.
Now that I am in college I am reading and writing more than ever. I want to find a way to be successful with both reading and writing in all of my classes. I do not want to fall into that routine of just getting by because I feel I am not good at either . If I can strive to give it my best in class I know I can become a better writer and reader.